Eating Out SF: The Boyfriend

 Halley twirled the linguini in her fork, using her spoon as a base, before delicately gliding the tightly wrapped noodles into her mouth.

“Ugh!” she moaned, as if the handmade pasta had caused her an orgasm.

“Good?” asked the hipster who refused to take his mesh trucker hat off at the table.

“Oh God yes!” Halley luxuriated then took a sip from her wine glass.

The girl savoured every bite of her meal at The Italian Homemade Company on Union Street.

“Are we interested in coffee or dessert?” the waiter asked.

The hipster defaulted to his date who shook her head. The pasta was sitting far too heavy in her stomach to consider eating dessert.

“Just the check,” the hipster replied.

The man paid the check and the couple thanked the hostess as they walked out the door. Once they were outside, he placed his hand on the girl’s shoulder and leaned in to kiss. She puckered her full lips and allowed the man to press his furry moustache up to her nose while they touched moist lips. Halley’s tongue remained safely caged behind her teeth, despite the man’s attempt to touch the pink appendage that had just bathed itself in marinara sauce and chianti.

“Maybe we could go back to my place… chill a bit, ya’ know?” he smiled.

“I’m sooooo full… and I have a big day tomorrow,” Halley lamented.

“Oh… ok… it’s just that… I mean… I was going to ask you to come with me and my friends to Napa this weekend,” the man sadly admitted.

“Oh?” Halley replied, waking up a bit and trying to remember the man’s name and how many dates they had been on.

“Yeah, they haven’t met my girlfriend yet and I keep telling them how amazing you are… they’re starting to tease me that you’re made up!” he chuckled in a pathetic way.

What the fuck is this guy’s name and did he just call me his girlfriend?!?! Halley screamed in her head.

“Did we decide on dating exclusively?” Halley asked, risking hurting the man’s feelings.

“Well… no, but on our second date, a months ago, you said you like to take it slow as long as it’s going somewhere… and you said that you could see US going somewhere… and we’ve had six dates… I guess I just assumed… I’m not seeing anyone else,” the man struggled.

Halley puzzled trying to remember if she really had been on five other dates with the man bearing his soul in front of her. To her, he was just one of the men in her stable of ‘Foodie Calls’ who were good for a dinner or lunch. She went on these sorts of dates ten times per week, so not remembering a handful of them seemed pretty probably, especially if she had been drinking on them.

Is this my boyfriend? She pondered in her own head.

He wasn’t particularly good looking, or tall, or anything. His face blended into the population. He looked to be about thirty, but dressed like he was sixteen. The personality he had chosen was a moderate hipster who exclusively wore vintage t-shirts, tighter jeans, and an assortment of foolish hats that, now, upon closer inspection, was most likely covering up early signs of male pattern baldness. The only thing about him that was interesting was the full moustache that actually fit his face rather well. Without it, Halley couldn’t imagine picking the man out of a police line-up.

“I guess we could go over your house,” Halley decided, partially because she could immediately sit in his car opposed to waiting on the hard wooden bench for an Uber. The pasta was stretching her stomach painfully and the wine had made her rather drowsy.

“Really! Babe… I’m so into us!” he smiled.

If he sticks his dick in me, I’m gonna pop! She joked to herself as she waited for the valet to pull the man’s Tesla around.  

Plopping herself inside of the car, Halley felt her guts roil as the man bombed up and down the hills of San Francisco until he reached a building on Octavia Street in Pacific Heights where a pressed button from inside his car opened the garage door. Halley struggled to heave her carbo-loaded body out of the low seat then trudge to the elevator. She held the rail inside until they reached his floor and she impatiently waited for the man to open the door with his key. Once inside, she flopped on the couch and unbuttoned her pants.

If I’m his girlfriend then I can be gross! She decided.  

The apartment was a large one-bedroom with big windows and lovely views of Twin Peaks. Halley surmised other units in the building probably had a straight-shot view of the Golden Gate bridge but not her boyfriends, what’s-his-name.

“We don’t have cable, we just stream… I’m getting super into Master of None… you watching it?” the man said, then noticed Halley unbuttoning her pants.

“No… not really,” she replied groaning.

“Let me help you with that!” he smiled, then grabbed the girl’s beltloops and slid her pants down her legs.

Halley was about to stop the man from undressing her, but the pasta had made her incredibly tight jeans unbearable.

“Why did I wear these straight-jackets-for-legs when I knew we were going out for pasta!” she moaned.

Halley was now only wearing her top and a black, lacy thong as she stretched out on the large sofa. Then, she noticed the man also take his pants off. As soon as the skinny jeans were past his boxers, an obvious erection created a big-top circus tent in the man’s festive underwear.

He slid onto the couch and pulled the girl onto him so that his erection was a pillar, supporting the fabric pavilion alongside Halley’s uncomfortable stomach. There was no place for Halley to rest her elbow without it touching the stiff penis. Not having the energy to care, she put the nearby erection into the crook of her elbow to prevent her from needing to hold her arm aloft. Moments later, the shrill voice of the skinny comedian starring in the show echoed off the walls.

“He masks his weak jokes by making silly faces and talking in a weird voice… like Jim Carey,” Halley muttered, watching the man spring about the television.

“Jim Carey is a national treasure!” her boyfriend disagreed.

“Of Canada then… but he’s not funny. His serious roles are spot on… but his comedies have no substance. One liners and nonsense…,” Halley trailed off, feeling sleepy.

“Do you not like this show?”

“Not particularly.”

“We don’t have to watch,” the man agreed, then slid his cock out from inside the girl’s elbow, scooted off the couch and on to the floor in front of the couch, then grabbed the thin string of black material connecting Halley’s thong at her hips.

Again, Halley considered not allowing the man to undress her further, but the Chianti and pasta were just too much. In a smooth motion, he glided the lingerie down her legs and brought his head into the precipice of her vagina.

He fed me so I guess it’s my turn! Halley snickered in her own head as the man started lapping her pussy with his tongue.

This isn’t so bad… as long as I don’t need to do anythi….

“UUHH!” Halley moaned, interrupting her own thought.

He had managed to open her up enough to flick her clitoris with the tip of his tongue. After which, he pressed into her love button deeply, swirling, sucking, then flicking her sensitive bits.

“Don’t stop!” Halley groaned.

The man took his longest finger and inserted it inside and began sliding it, his palm facing upwards, in a come-hither-motion, gliding exactly on her g-spot.

He fucking knows what he’s doing! Halley cheered in her head.

Then he pushed in a second finger. At first, her crowded vagina was uncomfortable, but the additional pressure on her g-spot was divine. As he stroked her on the inside, his tongue continued its flamenco dance on her clitoris.

Warmth radiated all over Halley’s body. Tiny pins and needles popped all over her skin as her heartrate sped up.

Try not to cum! Drag it out! Fuck! Oh this is perfect! Halley’s brain screamed.

“Don’t stop!” she squealed.

She was at the top of a perfect waterfall with her legs buckling and nothing stopping her from sliding into the wet oblivion and explode pleasurable into the plunge pool.

“HHHAAAAAAA!! AAAAHH!!” she moaned, her vaginal walls contracting, squeezing the fingers.

The man slowed his flicking and withdrew his soaked fingers while Halley panted, clutching her chest to feel her pounding heart. Out of the corner of her watery eyes, she saw the man whip his shirt off and then drop his boxers.

Still unable to move, she felt the man position himself between her legs while he opened a condom.

“Wait! No! I’m severely allergic unless it’s a very specific kind of condom… what is that?”

“Trojan?” he replied, picking up the wrapper.

“Just go without… it’s fine,” Halley begged.

“I’m not super comfortable with that… umm… maybe you could go down on me?” the man proposed.

Ugh! I’m so full and happy from my orgasm… I don’t want to! Halley’s mind grumbled. Then she thought about how much she enjoyed Jerry masturbating for her in the car.

“I want to watch you do it,” Halley smiled.


“Jerk off for me!” she goaded.

“Uhh… I guess I could… where should I cum? On you?”

“Hmm…. No… that will be an awful mess…,” Halley decided.

She then spread her slick labia for the kneeling man who though he was her boyfriend.

“Shoot in me… just the tip and cum inside!” she giggled.

“Oh! Are you on birth control?”

“Yeah! Totally! Cum in me!” Halley promised.

The man smiled then slide two fingers back inside of Halley’s soaked pussy. Pulling them out, he used her slickness to begin stroking his cock.

Halley watched with great interest as the man squeezed his narrow butt cheeks with every stroke and looked directly into her pussy and not her eyes or anywhere else. His penis was extremely typical, just like the rest of the man. It was around five inches long, not terribly thick or thin, and had an extremely normal looking circumcised tip. Halley’s thoughts drifted to Jerry’s massive, grotesque penis and she began feeling aroused again.

“Ha! Uh! Uh!” the man panted, it was clear he was closing in on his own orgasm.

Halley scooted herself forward and placed her fingertips on both sides of her lips to spread them.

“Uh! Oh! Uh! UHHHH!” the man grunted then took the tip of his penis and held at the slick opening of Halley’s vagina.

“RRRR!! AAAARRRR!!” he began grunting.

Halley felt the hot projections inside of her from the spurting penis.

“Oooh!” she moaned, enjoying the comfortable insemination.

Then she scooted forward slightly, causing the man’s penis to be inserted a small amount. Deciding there was no difference between a shallow and deep insertion, the man pushed his cock all the way inside of Halley and grunted while he emptied himself inside of the girl.

When he pulled out, a moment later, his semen leapt from Halley’s vagina and dribbled down the front of the couch.

“Fuck! Let me get something!” the man cursed and jumped up from the floor and returned with paper towels and a sprayed cleaning product.

“I’ll be right back,” Halley moped, seeing the man was more interested in the couch than her.

She walked into his apartment until she found his bathroom and sat on his toilet, dripping the man’s semen into the bowl. As she sat, Halley noticed a few magazines and picked one up as her phone was still in her purse. On the cover was a printed sticker.

“Conner! His name is Conner!” she groaned.

After cleaning herself, she walked naked back to the living room and saw the man had completed his task of removing the semen from the couch and was now lounging, still naked, and, surprisingly still erect.

Smiling, Halley slinked over to the man, mounted him on the couch and easily slid his cock back inside of her. She was still wet and the massive semen deposit further lubed her slippery vagina as she bounced on the man.

“Mmmm! Mmmm!” he breathed at each hop the girl made in his lap.

“Yes! Ugh! Yes! Conner!” she grunted, snapping her hips up and down.

“Wait! What? Who’s Conner? What the fuck!” he yelled, pushing the girl off his lap.

“Uhh! Did I say Conner?” Halley puzzled.

“Are you cheating on me?”

How did this fucking happen to me! Halley groaned.

“Yes! I’m having an affair with a man named Connor. I’m sorry, but I think I love him! But, if you want to finish having sex with me this last time, that’s fine!” Halley confessed.

Tears began to form in the man’s eyes as his face wrenched into an ugly, wrinkled mug. He placed his hands over his eyes for a moment, then steeled his nerves, stood tall, and, with as much stoicism as he could managed, addressed his deceiving girlfriend.

“I thought you were someone I could love… someone I could marry… I saw us maybe having kids one day… I’m glad I learned this about you before I got much deeper. Go! Never text me again!” he commanded.

This is the most I’ve ever been attracted to whomever this guy is! Halley confessed.

“I understand,” Halley spoke, hanging her head in mock-shame.

She quickly dressed, took the elevator to the street and called an Uber to collect her and take her back to the inner Richmond.

“Hey! How was your Foodie Call?” Kaitlyn asked when she walked in the door.

“Oh! We went to The Italian Homemade Company! Sooooo good! Sooooo filling!”

“Cool! How was the guy?”

“You know… I can’t seem to recall his name!” Halley shrugged.

To be continued…

Author’s Note: If you enjoyed this original story, please check out my other original stories in the blog section. Several of the stories have been compiled into full length books.


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